Late night chats with Joe
Tabletop chats & Story summary
Gorgeous. Yeah, sure. What about the trees? So yeah, every orange tree is different. They’re all like kind of set up. There’s some that are seedless, so they’re better for eating. Some that are like sweeter juices and stuff. They’ve got Japanese bubble tree just down there. Pomegranate diamond. I’ve got all the grapevines. Yeah, it’s such a beautiful diamond. Yeah. I think it’s like weird because this hostel I think is more made for guests. It’s not really made for volunteers because it’s actually not that easy on work. So if you are little or something, you have to work a lot. Because I think in most one really big advantage of volunteers is you can just use them longer. I think you also get really fucking cheap labour. So cheap €3 less than that. It’s just another room in the hostel. I think it’s that’s the idea by you’re the boss, Jay. You can just make the decision. Just do it, just run it. I think the problem is that this place I think they should have a person like with Androp here I think there’s the biggest problem here that they don’t have someone who always here because they are coming at five or six and that’s not enough. And they could pay them because they have money. Yeah, they will find a way. But I think that they really need someone they should have some cleaning because most of the hostels have someone who cleans and does toilets and stuff. I think it’s it’s not the best that doesn’t have anyone because basically we do everything. You just need someone who’s been here for even just over like a month and a half. Yeah, because everyone is here for maximum stay here for more than I’ve not left the hostel to event like here. Yeah, because Tirana is not that interesting. No, I love is that they love their country so much and I think it’s not in an unhealthy way because lots of countries love their countries in a way that we are the best. No other countries allowed in our country because they are like births or something. They love their country. They love Albania but they love seeing people from other countries. They love people come from other countries. I think it’s very nice. Yeah, I think that kind of varies as well, but yeah, I’ve certainly found it when me and Billy were out like wild camping in Sarande and all the locals waving peace when we were out in the rural I don’t know, in the town, to be fair, all the shopkeepers were really like fed up guys in the park. That’s why for the last like 9 hours they just sat under a tree because it was raining so much and then all the guys would usually hang out in the park. We’re all together so like sharing beers. None of them spoke any English really, apart from one guy. It was so cool. We’re all doing drawing together they spoke something off the back. This is you use for crack? No, I remember. You need anything like weird crack, place to stay, just come. I actually invited one of the guys back to Brighton with me. My girlfriend asked me to write her poem. I said something silly, I said what do you want me to do for you? And she said, I want you to write me a poem. And this was months ago and I gave a shit about no way, but I’m going to write her. Maybe I was thinking a love poem. But it doesn’t actually have to be a love form. Can be anything. Yeah, she’s read that. She’s read that of course. Actually she’s read most of my stories. She helped me write one in German. Where are you from? I’m from New Zealand. Yes, I know. I talked to them as well. Yes, they were nice. Sorry, I was busy working on my laptop at the time. Yeah, for you guys. Really? Well, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. Where did you meet them? I went to Scorpio. To where? Scorpio. Scorpio, Macedonia. I haven’t seen Macedonia on a map yet. I know, it’s just east of him. I can’t even picture it was so nice. We were just hanging around like seven people go to the canyon there and everything and then went together to offer time together. And now they are here. Some of the guys from there will come here. I’m very happy because they are very nice. How long they stay? A day for tonight. Cool. Tomorrow see I’ll probably hang out there. But you’re going to stop working here and stay here? Is that the idea? But tomorrow is my day off. Tomorrow. I’ve got a day off tomorrow. Yeah. So I thought I might spend the day like painting. Oh, that’s a good idea. I think it would just be a nice thing to leave. I mean you have to do it. Yeah. Promised you lee. I’d make him like a clay head at those days. Yeah, from them. Are the gifts going to happen? I’ll do it before I go. You have to promise and say yeah, I’ll do it in like four years. No, you do it in 100 years. It’s not going to be.
That’s really funny. Oh, no. But yeah. So I’m going to make him the head paint in there and maybe make head of Brainer as well. Yeah, maybe their son be met. Their son? His son, yeah, her son Brainer. Well, both of their sons. The little one yeah, he’s funny. So for the beans, isn’t he? The little one is 14 as well. Oh, sorry. The youngest son. The youngest one. Yeah. I have seen one he’s once, but no, I haven’t. Oh, yeah. For a little bit of context, sitting outside a outdoor open airplane and enjoying enjoying the atmosphere in CSL and talking with my going out and doing things in the city. I bought happy with it. And I’m sitting there writing and I’m just get showing them back and they signed he takes he’s like, no. And it’s got three such as top yeah. Cooking shows. It’s like you make sure that’s and pops it up and shit. Look this off. Grab a weed to jail. I call my girlfriend. This is at the park. Yeah. There was an open air concert on Sunday night. Saturday. Sunday night. Calling no. Where is it? I called my girlfriend. She’s like, no idea what’s going on. And I had jail. Then jail make a oh, it’s not detecting the audio would be really lovely if it was. I’m gonna put it there for now. Hold on to it. What was I saying? Was I saying I was calling my girlfriend. Yeah. They let me call my girlfriend again. The first call I made outside was at 11:45 p.m.. The last call I made to my girlfriend was twelve two. The last time I talked to anybody outside was twelve two. And we talking shitting ourselves. Like, are these guys a fucking are these guys a fucking mafia? Actually, we were wondering this outside are these guys are fucking mafia? Pardon? What was the room? Okay, so it was a bland white hallway. Like dull concrete walls, 10 meters, 15 meters long. There’s a few doors I can kind of see. There’s a door in front of me with a bar drill. So I’m like, okay, this is actually probably a jailhouse or a police something rather are they going to fucking steal my shit? Are they trying to extort me? The ones the ones outside who were giving me trouble? Initially, no. Some guys came from a cop car. Yes. And I mean, I kind of knew it was legit, but like I well, at least I knew they were legit police. I thought they were trying to escort me. Like, seriously. I mean, he’s a wealthy tourist. I’m the best fucking dressed person in this entire city right now. In fact, I’m dressed exactly like this with my backpack. Yeah. Exactly as I am now. Yeah. What else happened in that channel? So oh, yeah, on the phone call with my girlfriend. I mean, on the phone call with my girlfriend. I am high for the audio’s record. Sorry, this was an important wasn’t that important? I was a little bit high. I’ll cut this out of the audio actually. My girlfriend’s been working on writing a biography of her grandmother. Like what the fuck? I didn’t know this. She just told me about it now. She’s been working on it for a year apparently. I know she hasn’t done anything on it. She would have told me about it if she was that she’s transcribing some audio files. She’s got some interviews from her grandmother that she’s recorded in the past and she wants to script. I didn’t ask her this actually but I got the impression at the beginning we’re going to take a biography, take some audio recordings. That’s when she started working. Yeah. So much. Say if your grandparent passes away when you’re like twelve yeah. You’re not really of the right state of mind to understand what they’re talking about as you get older. My grandma was quite interesting. She just stayed at home with the time, never really left. Have you guys seen the snowman film Christmas where it’s like we’re walking in the air and they die on they live in the house that film is based on. Yeah. So the guy who wrote it was like postman for the village. Used to deliver post to the house and he got like inspired looking at a cottage just underneath at the bottom of this hills and windmills at the top of the hill. Jackie Jill, she just like stayed there, did her gardening, had a nursery. She’d sell lots of plants and stuff so the last call sorry the last school to my girlfriend was at twelve two and one of the things she understood while she was on the phone and.
Yeah. We have to take it to the lab to test it. Yes. She understands it’s marijuana. Um, okay. I actually grabbed my phone quite a few times. I kept managing to kind of, like, wrangle it back. Not physically. What would they take off the table and have a look and then put it back? They never had a look, right? Had a look once. And I’ll tell you why. But they would take it and put it on the table. Just take it back because it’s right in front of me. Yeah. And then the next time okay, but you’ve got it over there. But just let me charge let me put it on. Put the battery on. I kind of move to put it on and then just take my phone with me and put it back. And I’ve been holding onto my bag this entire time when I was arrested outside. Um, okay. So they asked to search me again, you know, to search my bag again. I’ll do it myself. And my deodorant and, like, toggs I still carry my toggs with I always do this right. You never know if you’re going to swim. What else did I bring out of my dad? Bring out, like, receipts for the headphones I just bought. Here’s the box picture. My passport. They’ve taken my passport. They’re, like, writing down the details. They’ve taken my passport and they’re writing down the details. This one guy I call Mr. Elizabeth. He’s writing down. They didn’t even take a picture of it. We’re going to send this off to the lab to get it tested. You’ve got a lab? I guess you get drug tested. It’s quite cheap. Now, don’t you like those little tabs that you put, like, a little bit on water? What do you mean? You’re going to send it to the left running water? Oh, yeah. I put down my bottle on the table and I asked them, I can have some water? No, you can’t drink the water from this pollution. You have a lab. You don’t have fucking potable water. You have a key. I think I’ve got one in my pocket, actually. It’s like a cheap yeah, you just had to probably an hour or so. Okay. Yeah. See you guys. Once more. Water. Yeah. Tired? Traveled a lot today. You? What else can I tell you? That was all I was going to say. Up to jail, which is the third part of the story. Sorry. Jail. Jail is we’re up to part two. No, sorry. We’re up to part three. Part three? What’s the title? I’m blanking on the table of the title of this section. Part three a big old waste of fucking time. Um, we’re up to part three. A big a big Old Waste of fucking time. Anyone’s? Big one. Thank you. Have you seen that? Jesus. Sorry. I know this is my responsibility to talk part three. They go fucking time? I think so. They they finally take me up 945 in the morning, find out. I take my bag, I take my shirt, I’ll say bye bye to the warden and they take me to his office. They take me to the first actually, they take me to the first office and I hear them chatting New Zealand and the guy inside shakes his head and points the other way and wondering, do you even know where the fuck you’re taking me? You take me to the office next door and the guy calls me sitting at a desk in the corner. And there’s another desk in this room and there’s a big desk in the middle of it. Kind of got diagonal with a printer in the middle. Dusty bookshelves, stuff all over the tables. He’s sitting in a computer and he calls me and I come step beside him. Not right beside him, kind of like angled. Okay. This whole time there’s kind of police officers in the background and they’re chitchatting and kind of moving around and listening, whatever they want to do, standing outside the doorway doing fucking nothing. There was one guy that just doing nothing the entire time. That’s so funny. Must have been that story, like, the guy that had that massive drug bus, 260 people. Yes. The officer that booked me, he claimed he was very instrumental in this. Officer Kohler, Narcotics Department. Introduces himself, or I ask him rather did he say anything? Pardon? Did he tell you anything about it? His name? No. Like the story of the people he got called for the drug bust. He didn’t tell? No. I think I said, what did he tell me? He did tell me a little bit. Good question. I I haven’t thought about this at all since I left, since he told me, like, he told me about it. So we kind of know what would happen, I guess, in the UK, if there’s a big drug bust like that, someone would be kind of put in a prison. It would all be logged. Do you know what I mean? It would all be kind of above board in a weird way. He did say all 300 silence. Right? They just put them all in jail. That would not happen anywhere else. Or that would not happen. Like in New Zealand, for example, if there is 260 people in the truck bus, like most of them walking through, yeah, she’s put them all in jail. Holy shit. I guess if it was that big, I feel like in the UK they might put them all in. Yeah, but there’s a lot of people you just shouldn’t be able to prosecute. A lot of people just they were in the wrong place. And to just throw in jail as well, there’d be a lot of people just kind of hanging out there. That’s a good point. They’re working on they’ve just legalized medicinal cannabis, like, a month. Yeah, they’ve done UK as well. It’s amazing. My sister’s got epilepsy quite, like, severely and she’s taking, like, CBD oil now and it’s just world good. Literally, her seizures dipped. So much fucking about.
So much.It’s so nice, for sure.I guess epilepsy is kind ofthe main thing really, isn’t it?Does a lot of good but yeah, especiallythat so much more developed for sure.I’m really be excited for like for itto get into like mental health stuff.So a lot of stuff likeschizophrenia and paranoia or whatever.You’re given opiates which I think dullyour mind too much, I think.I thought what do you call this?Like recreational?Yeah, it’s really fucking bad.Depends how your brain works anddepends on the weed as well.Believed to be contributing to causing it.It depends who you are.I mean weed weed does bring on schizophrenia for sure, butit can be quite calming for your mind as well.You get a lot of different types of weed.Like you get sativa and indica.Indica is a lot more like just that weird headyfeeling where you’re a bit confused and you kind ofI don’t know, that kind of slightly scatty feeling.The anxiety but also the kindof dreaminess and the spaceiness.You get the indicator and this teeth that’sa bit more of a body high.Like relaxant.I think it’s better weed really.You can kind of function on it but italso just makes the world seem quite inspiring.I think that’s the thing that’s great for peoplewith schizophrenia to inspire them before I got arrestedand it has only fueled it wicked. Yeah.Of course I worked on nothing but that story.I think weed is brilliant.I used to smoke a lot of weeds.Now I’m actually coming back to working when Isay working for jobs for a few more daysand I have totally revamped my resume.I tidied up these couple of letters. Yeah, nice.And I just put together a little portfolio.I’ve got two more sentences to write for my resume.I totally just need actually no, thisone just goes straight out the door.I tidy up this resume pretty much PDF there.And another job.Another job the same.No, the other job is not the same.Bridges.Bridges are cool.Bridges are cool.I just know nothing about Kyle.It’s like different field, isn’t it?I don’t know how to design bridge.Bridges are so complex.I love suspension bridges though.Yeah.I think the engineering of bridges is insane.It’s really like captivating sometimes.Love those old like do you get fire dumps?I guess New Zealand architectureis quite modern, isn’t it?No, it’s not.Sorry.Yeah, but please tell me because that wasjust my like in the central business district.Yeah, sure.But this is like tidy. Yeah.And then the CBD, the central business district.Yeah.I should say it was only because I talkedto someone who did like a year like studyin New Zealand and they just stayed in thecapital outside of the heart of the city.Yeah.Side of the cities.Once you’re in the countryside, is there still, like, alot of kind of Maori influence in the countryside?Influence, yes.But what do you mean by likewhat do I mean by influence?Sorry.No, that’s all right.Maori influence. The Maori? Yeah.This is something I don’t like when I’m hired.Yeah, it’s a big thing as well.Of course. Yeah.Oh, my God.And but really, really?I need to use my phone.I need to speak to my phone.10 hours.810 hours.Yes, I was in the jail cell for ten.I wasn’t in the jail cell.Mostly I was in the water smoking cigarettes.I love the culture, cigarettes.And people just offer them, like, randomly.I bought, like, a kebab the other day, and the guyjust came out after I’d finished and gave me a cigarette.Quite nice.Anyway, I couldn’t couldn’t tellwhat’s nice about the water.Quite like officer column Scalar about.That was where you’re at.But then you said, wow, wanted toask him if it’s a nickname.He had it on his badge.He had it on his badge.That’s what they said.I wonder if any of them tried your snooze, you know,and they took it to the back and they like, brokepies and I wonder if they like, probably not.When I was outside in the park, we didn’t putone in my mouth, kind of since you use butthis one looks you have to have it fresh.Then three old ones at the top.I’ve never had it before.Yeah, never had it sneezed.This is a pretty can I try it tomorrow?It might keep me up.I think I think this is a pretty is it quite mellow?This is another strong one.I think it’s a five out of eight,for whatever that’s worth it you’ll get nice.I might have it tomorrow morning.I don’t think it should keepnicotine and you’re smoking cigarettes?Yeah, smoke quite a lot of cigarettes.Reminds me of these nicotine lozenges.Yeah, just just don’t swallow it.There was a guy I knew a guywho swallowed it and straight to the hospital. Really?You have to wash the what is it?Oh, my God. What is here?They need to wash his stomach out.They have to wash his stomach out because you die.I think this is not the strong but it was avery strong one he swallowed, and he could have died.Really?For example, if a dog or somethingeats it is to just die.Shocks your body. I have a question.If I don’t put it in the bed.
Yeah. Your stomach? Yeah.They have to wash his I think this is notthe strong, but it was a very strong one.He swallowed and he could have died. Really?For example, if a dog orsomething eats it shocks your body.I have a question.If I don’t put it in the bed buta dog will never eat it on purpose.Dog such a would eat it. Really?Maybe a Labrador.Yeah, but yeah, I knew some peoplewho just push it in the ass.I knew a girl who pushed it in his pussy,and she got such a nicotine shock that she wentstraight to the hospital because she was so shocked.She was like this, she couldn’t even move.You’re putting me off this sneeze but inthe mouth, it’s not like a strong one. I love it.Tomorrow sounds like quite strong.I think this is not strong, actually, but ifyou put it in your mouth, it’s actually nothing.I mean, sometimes I use it, soit’s I’m pretty experience with it.I’ve been using I’ve been using it on and off.I’ve been trying to quit.Trying to quit.I should yeah.I feel bad for a couple of times.There’s a top compartment.I don’t think a dog would eat that.It seems so sort of smells so toxic with the menpol.I don’t know.Officer Colbert in jail.I asked him what time it is.It’s 945.I asked to call my lawyer.I asked what his mind says, it’s about five minutes.And tell them I need to talk to my girlfriend.She thinks I can keep that for the mafia and says,you can’t use your phone and here, you’ll be done soon.Yeah, okay.At least let me charge and I take charger.I take a charger.Let me charge my phone and okay.I got to plug it in.It’s got six battery left.They put on airplane mode for me, which is actually kindof like I’m sure it was on an airplane before.And I quickly messaged, like, afriend like her, okay, I’m fine.I’ll be out of here pretty soon.I’m about to see my lawyer.Don’t worry about me. Sorry. Coming.I’ll talk to you soon.Story coming.And I quickly and I messaged my sister.I just said, Ask Lucy, and put my phone away.And he asked for my passport.He starts taking down notes, and he asked mea few really basic questions, given some shit aboutmy father’s name again, I should have anyway.And he eventually shortly pulls up one ofthe evidence blanks that’s sitting on the table.He asked me, what is this?And I might have said, a little bit.They kept you there for, like did yousay it’s like, 11 hours or something?I would have been in jail.I got picked up at about 111130, and I got out at 1145.Yeah.I don’t even know what this is.I’ve just been assumed. 12 hours?Yeah, that’s a long time.That was midday.Was it midday you got taken in?Or was it like midnight? Midnight. It’s midnight.So you’re up until the next day.That’s pretty savage.What did you do when you got out?Was that when you got here?Was it straight off, really?I went to the hospital, literally around the corner.And I sat down and I was like,fuck, all my shit is still here.Actually, somebody touched my stuff because thewaistband clip, it was clipped together, right?But nothing was there.That’s nice.Picked up my bag.Makes me wonder about, like, the Bathhost Stateacts like we stayed above just around thecorner, and me and Billy were sat.We’re like, we really need some camping gear.Like, whatever.I’m going to walk to the camping shop.It’ll be 2 hours, but it’s the best onein Toronto by the looks of the reviews.I was literally I was sat inthe garden talking to Billy about it.And then this guy was like having a cigarette.He works at a hostel.Just like at the end of the table.And I was like, hey, dude, I don’t suppose youknow anyone selling like cheap camping, like tents and stuff?He was like, I sell tents.I’ve got two tents.I’ve got a load of sleepingbags, roll, mads gas canisters.It’s just one of the guys who worked there.Yeah, well, let’s give you €100 for the lot.And literally yeah, sorry, there was two.We got 110 gas canister gas,but wasn’t fit the gas canister.So I told somebody the cards, theydidn’t fucking fit in the thing.So we got a sleeping bag, a roll mat and a tent.Yeah.It just made me think, like, that guyprobably just fucking nicked them from a hostel,stored them in the storeroom, and then justsold them to other people who came in.It just didn’t cross my mind when we bought it.But thinking about it because he ripped off as well.How many times could you get away with it?Yeah, how do you get away?Like, how many people’s stuff did he steal?I suppose maybe just steal once, I think. Yeah.Lots of people there say if the host load isreal on it as well, then someone lost my tent.They’ll be like, fuck.We checked the CCTV.We’ve done everything, whatever.We’ve only got one camera in the garden.We haven’t seen anyone take it.I’d be like, fuck it.Some guests just run off my stuff.No one would ever check in on the hostel too much.Yeah, that guy just fucking nicked all ofour camping gear and sold it to me.Poor wanker.
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Really fed up guys in the park we hadto wait for the bus like 9 hours.They just sat under a tree because itwas raining so much and then all theguys would usually hang out in the park.We’re all together so we’re like sharing beers.None of them get any English really apart from one guy.It was so cool.Kind of like we were all doing for growing together.They spake something off the back.This is you use for crack?No, I remember.You need anything like we crack place to stay?Just come.I actually invited of the guys backto Brighton with me very much.Yeah that was really nice exchange.Yeah when I went to Iraq fromoffrid I have to change buses.Which city was it?My girlfriend asked me to write her poem.I said what do you want me to do for you?And she said I want you to write me a poem.And this was months ago and I gave a shit about noway but I’m going to write her maybe I was thinking alove poem but it doesn’t actually have to be a love poem.It can be anything.Yeah she’s read that.She’s read that of course actuallyshe’s read most of my stories.Do you have like she helped me write one in German.Where are you from?I’m from New Zealand.Yes I know I talked to them as well.Yes, they were sorry I was busyworking on my laptop at the time.Yeah amazing.Definitely like getting on really well. Yeah.Sorry where did you meet them?To where? Scorpio. Scorpio? Macedonia.Oh, I haven’t seen Macedonia on a map yet.I know, it’s just Easter member I can’t even pictureit yet like not very nice group just hanging aroundlike seven people go to the canyon there and everythingand then went together to offer and spent lots oftime together and now they are here.Some of the guys from there will come here.I’m very happy because they are very nice.How long they stay for?Two nights cool. Yeah.Going out for drink or something?Yeah do it.But you’re going to stop working here and stay here?Is that the idea?But tomorrow is my day off tomorrow.I’ve got a day off tomorrow.Yeah so I thought I mightjust spend the day like painting.Oh this is a good idea.I think it would just be a nice thing to leave.I mean you have to do it.Yeah promised you leo, you can likea clay head at this stage.I hate it when people promise me thingsand they deliver on them like this gift.Are the gifts going to happen?I’ll do it before I go.Yeah I’ll do it in like four years.No you do it in 100 years.It’s not going to be so I’m going to make himthe head paint in there and maybe make head of brain.Yeah, maybe their son be met. Their son?His son, yeah, her son Brainer.Well, both of their best friends.The little one yeah, he’s funny.The little one is 14 as well. Oh, sorry.The youngest son.The youngest one.No, I haven’t seen I mean, I haveseen one his once, but no, I haven’t.So for a little bit of contextbecause I never I’m sitting outside openair concert and enjoying enjoying the atmosphere.I’ve been working with my family and talking withgoing out and doing things in the city Iwouldn’t throw fucking so happy with it.And I’m sitting there writing and the police don’twant to see what’s in my self explanatory.And I forgot three that just popped off the top.Yeah, good game.Let’s go get fucking shitting.And then we should pop that up again.Flip this off, grab WEEDO.Take me to jail.I call my girlfriend.I call my girlfriend while we’re outside.This is at the park half a kilometer west. Yeah.There was an open air concert on Sunday night.On Saturday?Sunday calling no where else?I call my girlfriend, she’s like,no idea what’s going on.And they take me to jail.And welcome to jail.More to be interesting things.I make a phone call tonight.Oh, it’s not detecting the audio wouldbe really lovely if it was.I’m gonna hold on to it.What was I saying?They let me call my girlfriend again.The first call I made outside was 11:45 p.m..The last call I made to my girlfriend was twelve two.The last time I talked toanybody outside was twelve two.And she we’re shitting ourselves.Like, are these guys a fucking mafia?Actually, we were wondering this outside.These guys are fucking mafia.Pardon?Okay, so it was.